Cupcakes

Cupcakes..Yummo..


Who doesnt love eating cupcakes? Everybody does!

My red velvets and oreo cream cookies are the most hot favourite! Each of them simply devoured those sweet treats>





Happy 13th Birthday Sweetheart!

A special little lady in my life turns 13 years old today.

I want to tell her lots of things. How proud I am of her. How special she is. How she has blossomed into a beautiful and elegant young woman.

I want to explain to her that it's tough being 13. That the others in the neighborhood can sometimes be cruel, that she needs to keep her head up and walk proud and respect herself, and have enough confidence and wisdom to respect the choices she makes.

I want to tell her that it's OK to make mistakes. That we learn from mistakes. That mistakes can make us better people. And if we live life afraid of being wrong, or making a mistake, that we never grow.

I want to tell her about how hard it's been being a working and study mom, but because it's been worth every single second, I won't.

I want to tell her all about how in life, there are always choices, and that it is these choices that define us, that build our character, that make us who we are.

I want to tell her how much she means to me, and how I love her.

And, I always pray that she will be a successful person wordly and hereafter. Ameen!

MAY ALLAH BLESSES US...

From the moment we met, I felt something special between us. Even in those times when you were a constant nuisance and teased me uncontrollably. It started out as friendship and grew into love.
You are my strength, my friend & my husband. I am still looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you..

 As we celebrate our anniversary and look to the future, let’s focus on loving each other, heart and soul.
Let’s get back to basics… to you, to me, and our love.
Because after all, that’s where we started, and that’s where we should always be...

Alhamdulillah the best gift for me from Allah is my husband ♥ with his Iman and Islam ♥ .... who always be my best friend and InsyaAllah i pray to Allah May Allah always guide us with his mercy no matter what we always there to support each other .. , surely you will be with whom you love for the sake of Allah ...May Allah bring this love till Jannah.Ameen...

Me & my the other half (hubby)

Sophie

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This free picture slideshow generated with Smilebox

Being a Caregiver

Strength for Caring

You see, one of my missions in life is to remind myself and others perhaps to truly live their priorities. Yet it seems too many give lip service to one thing and say it's their priority but spend their time doing something else. (included myself..) :(

That’s why I am in awe of caregivers. I've known a few of them..myself too. However, I'm a multi-tasking kinda of person cos I am a fulltime goddess diva married with 3 beautiful munchkins, part-time teaching in childcare and relief caregiver to my bedridden mom who are suffering from stroke. Amazing? Impressed? hmmm...up to you bloggers.

Some of you might give up careers to be caregivers. Others do not, for instance myself, and valiantly strive to balance both. Nowadays, many move a parent into their home, or move in with them. Others equip a family room with wheelchairs and beds to give around-the-clock care. As for me, both of my parents moved in with me since 2005.  Dad is cardiaovascular patient and has to take medicines daily. For every 3 mths, I'll accompany him to our neighbourhood clinic for his regular check-up & blood tests.  Since Mom are totally disable, she needs us to clean her regularly, change diapers, shampoo hair and feeds through tube feeding.  With all those stated schedules, my/our “shift” doesn’t end.

I think until a person walks in the shoes of a caregiver, he or she cannot begin to comprehend the frustration, the anger, the helplessness that they feel some days. Yet in the midst of the hardest times, the caregiver's faithful, undying love prevails, setting an example that blesses the whole world.

Sometimes caregivers think, "How can anyone laugh at a time like this?" And yet often, laughter is the best medicine-for the caregiver. Studies show that laughter boosts our immune systems, lowers our blood pressure, and releases endorphins in the brain that make us happier and, indeed, healthier. This caregiver learned that lesson...much to her surprise!:))


I ever wondered, just how many family caregivers are out there? Where do they live? How many hours do they work? And, how much is that caregiving worth in terms of dollars? Do they have support from government bodies or nursing agencies? Do they have any financial, pyschical & emotional support from other family members? *ponder*

I am so thankful and grateful to Allah SWT for giving me an opportunity to make up the loss time with my mom and spend time with her as long as she breathe:(..............Although I couldnt understand sometimes what mom is uttering, I know that she just wanna some attention.  Or perhaps, she misses her other children who either didnt show up to visit or just dunt bother at all!!!  Apparrently, I dunt give a damn to my siblings as I believed that what comes around goes around..


The need is so great most days and I can never get it all done. I feel like as much as I give, it isn’t enough—it’s never enough. Yet remember, that everything we did makes a difference. No effort is too small. Everything we do matters more than we know.


Subhanallah!

Holding on to Mom

It happened in 2008, on March, morning.  I was just woke up from bed when my maid, Maria, shouted, "Mak! Bangun Mak! Kenapa Mak diam aja?" "Mom, wake up! why are you silence?! I stood at the the door in confusion.  Maid came to me and said in shaky voice,"Ma'am Sophie, Mak didnt utter anything since she awake this morning."  I replied quickly to her,"I'll take a look at her now and you go and continue settling the children to school."  Fortunately, I realised that Mom had had a stroke for the second time and immediately called for an emergency ambulance.   The first time Mom suffered a minor stroke.  Mom was given a scan from the doctors and monitored in HDU unit.  It proved that my fears were correct!  Mom was administered a drugs to stop the bleeding in her brain. By then, I was already cried and hard for me to accept the fact i'm losing someone I really love! My only Mom!  Later in the ev evening,  Doctors wanna see us for something major.  They broke another news that Mom had another ruptures from her blood vessel and total, there were TWO ruptured!  I broke down again and husband did the discussions with them.  Later on, husband told me that we need to prepare for the worst and feared mom would not  survived. Mom gotta a hemorragic stroke and might cause fatality or patient will survive with permanent disabilities. And that put me over the edge! 

There's no other option to keep mom survive/alive and I seeked help from the Nurse Manager to let me stay with Mom overnight.  I sat beside the hospital bed and cried uncontrolabally.  In the ward, a nurse met me and expressed condolences, and asked me if  I need a blanket as the ward at night was pretty cold.  After the nurse left, I glanced at her closed eyes and motionless lips.  I was there in supplication on the chair, cried-prayed till I doze off.

So, I did what I do best.  Before this moment, I couldnt have imagined holding her semi conscious body (semi coma).  I told myself that if mom survive, I'm gonna make her happy as long as she live!

As I stared at our hands touching, I reflected back over our lives together.  Throughout her life, she had been a strong willed lady, hardworking and fierce. There were always a visitors in our house, and wherever we went, people would tell me what a wonderful mother I had.

Frankly, I never felt tat way. 

She was a fighter, and many of her fights had been with me.   She nagged me, annoyed me and somtimes embarassed me in such a way that I couldnt tolerate.  She didnt trust me somtimes because she didnt understand me and I thought she really did understand me and hence didnt trust me.

Now, as I prayed at her ears and held her hands, I thought about the kind of family she had created.  I remembered how powerful I believed she was when teenager.  After all, she could manage the family, help in my father's income by working freelance, volunteer for non-profit muslim organisations, donate part of her savings to Orphanage Home and encouraged me and my sister to excel in our studies.  And through it all, she has seemed fearless.  If one of her children needed help or sth, she would take care of it.  Nothing stopped her.

But how well had I known her?  What blinded me was she was not a woman to me, not a person.  She was a mother.  Why did I battle with my mother?  Oh well, whatever it was.............

Holding my mother's hand now, I thanked her for giving me life.  And then I went on. I thanked her for creating a family where I could laugh at one another and at our own mistakes.  I recalled how her hands me safe when I was little.  I also remembered how, when I was few years older, I cried when she leave me to work on night shifts.  And, when I grew older, she fed me when I was sick and couldnt get up from bed.

How hard it was to face the facts that she is bedridden, senile and totally remain paralysed.  I decided to look after Mom at home instead of hospice centre/old age home. (my friends suggested).  It's always difficult to say 'i'm ok, no worries', to someone who ask me if I'm capable to be a lifetime caregiver. 

As I looked into her frail and haggard body, I could hear her whining .  She is now a helpless 'little child' who needs someone probably a 'mother' to provide care and attention.(TLC)  Ive seeen in which people love each other but cannot see each other clearly.  They cannot feel the warmth in each other's hearts, all they can feel is resentment for past injuriesm, or fear of future ones.  or years of frustrations as they have tried unsuccessfully to change each other.  It saddens me to see people who love each other yet cannot open themselves and simply hold each other's hands.

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